Well... I guess I should write this as an update. Last Friday, I went to the love and respect meeting and finally gave in to the urge to write an apology letter to Teddy. He is the one that I have been discussing the last couple posts. I simply explained why I did the things I did. I didn't do it to get back together with him, just to know that he has forgiven me. I sent it with Monday’s mail. He should have gotten it yesterday or today, but perhaps not until to tomorrow. I don't expect to hear back from him for a week, but it is likely that I will not get a response. If I were him, I wouldn't even open the envelope.
But that is the other problem. In all the urging to send the letter, I didn't realize Monday is valentine's day. I would have never sent it had I known. I hope he doesn't think I sent it now because I do miss him. That was not my intent. I don't want him to think that the letter I sent is an open invitation to come back. I don't know what to think about all of it. All I know is that after I sent it, I received the peace I had been craving. I haven't lost the peace about it, even though I am still worried. It just lets me know that I was doing the right thing by sending the letter.
Now I just have the nagging feeling about the dream I had three years ago. About this time I reflect on the last year and wonder at how little I have done if I truly believe God is coming soon. Then I wonder if I should share the dream. It fits in with the couple others that stick in my head. Perhaps I will type it up sometime and share it on my blog. I will write the other dreams I have had in connection with it first. But that is a topic for another blog.
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